![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
This was too funny and I have a headache
Oct. 7th, 2003 07:25 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
diemmeFrom Guardian Unlimited.
Forza AC Jimbo!
Italian football genius James Richardson rounds up what's left of the season, then immediately reviews it - and names his dream team! The summer's going to be a long haul without him ...
Tuesday June 3, 2003
It's over - and like the last vinegar-soaked chip, or the furry bits at the bottom of the milk bottle, the final mouthfuls of this Italian season have turned out every bit as tasty as what went before, with no less than two top postscripts in the past seven days.
First off; having lifted the Champions Cup without winning either semi-finals or final, European champions Milan swiftly followed last weeks Old Trafford yawner with victory over Roma in the Coppa Italia. Played over two legs, like pocket billiards, this was a heady affair featuring nine goals and the hissy fit of the season.
With Roma 2-0 up (but 4-1 down from the first leg), Antonio Cassano took dissent to new levels by (a) flashing the dreaded 'cuckold horns' at the ref, and (b) trying to rip the whistle from said official's mouth. To the delight of the 80,000 Milanisti present, his immediate red card ended Roma's comeback hopes, the Rossoneri coming back to level the scores and grab their second cup in three days. They now have almost as many trophies as their boss has corruption charges. Remarkable.
Meanwhile, to B or not to B: Serie A's other outstanding question was finally settled on Monday evening. The season had ended with Atalanta and Reggina tied fifth last in the table, needing a relegation playoff. Atalanta keeper Massimo Taibi kept things goalless in the first leg, but Reggina's 2-1 away win on Monday (in a game delayed 24 hours due to a hailstorm) means Reggina stay in Serie A. And thank goodness for that; this club from the very toe of the Italian Boot were the sole southern representatives in the top division, and considerably more fun to watch than Atalanta.
And saving the Reggina brings things to a close. What a season it's been: one that saw Calcio celebrated by some, upbraided by others - the David Beckham's Hair of world football - but one that is in many ways a return to the past; Juventus, Milan and Inter are hogging the top three spots once more, and Milan are back as continental champions.
As pink periodical La Gazzetta dello Sport points out, it's 23 years since Italy's big three stood together on the podium. In the intervening period, everyone from Verona to Fiorentina to Napoli to Sampdoria has had a pop at leading the way, but those days are done for now. We can thank the recent belt-tightening for that: these days only the big three have any money, ergo, only the big three compete.
Look at the others: Fiorentina are in the third division, Napoli and Verona are in the second, Parma are too busy balancing the books to finish anything but sixth. Even the capital has run out of steam - with debts as monumental as everything else in town, Rome's two clubs now watch wheezing from the sidelines. Roma haven't bought anyone in two years, while Lazio have to flog off their best bits just to stay afloat.
By contrast, our friends in the north have been piling up more big names than ever: Rui Costa, Nesta, Inzaghi, Pirlo, Seedorf and Rivaldo arriving at Milan; Buffon, Thuram, Di Vaio, Camoranesi, Salas and Nedved in at Juventus; Crespo, Cannavaro, Toldo, Almeyda, Morfeo and Emre joining Inter. These, of course, the three teams that this season put Italian football back on the European map so dramatically.
One might argue that it's precisely this sudden concentration of talent that's enabled Calcio to compete once more. But that's another story, and with the summer hols now long overdue, let's instead round off by unveiling your columnist's AC Jimbo fantasy side for the season.
Up front, hairy scary Christian Vieri is the rough tough figurehead for our formation. Beside him, hot young Romanian Adrian Mutu - the Parma forward is a ringer for the lad from Busted, and scores plenty besides.
The midfield sees Francesco Totti nestling snugly behind the front two, on and off the pitch (hey, it's my fantasy).
And alongside him, three meaty boys by the name of Pavel Nedved, Edgar Davids and Rino Gattuso. That's right, Gattuso. Grrrr.
Keeping it tight at the rear, say hello to Lillian Thuram and Paolo Maldini, with Gianluca Zambrotta at left back. And Javier Zanetti: Midfielder? Defender? I've got a spot free at right back, so that's where I'll stick him.
In goal, Udinese's Morgan De Sanctis offers the kind of between-the-posts reliability the Royal Mail can only dream of, but I'll stick with Gigi Buffon, who's more of a laugh.
And as young folk today have it: we would own.
So there it is: having placed a large stake upon the heart of this season and hammered it gently home, it's time for yours truly to salute you for the summer. August will see us back, with probably fewer changes than many would hope. Until then, buone vacanze!
Forza AC Jimbo!
Italian football genius James Richardson rounds up what's left of the season, then immediately reviews it - and names his dream team! The summer's going to be a long haul without him ...
Tuesday June 3, 2003
It's over - and like the last vinegar-soaked chip, or the furry bits at the bottom of the milk bottle, the final mouthfuls of this Italian season have turned out every bit as tasty as what went before, with no less than two top postscripts in the past seven days.
First off; having lifted the Champions Cup without winning either semi-finals or final, European champions Milan swiftly followed last weeks Old Trafford yawner with victory over Roma in the Coppa Italia. Played over two legs, like pocket billiards, this was a heady affair featuring nine goals and the hissy fit of the season.
With Roma 2-0 up (but 4-1 down from the first leg), Antonio Cassano took dissent to new levels by (a) flashing the dreaded 'cuckold horns' at the ref, and (b) trying to rip the whistle from said official's mouth. To the delight of the 80,000 Milanisti present, his immediate red card ended Roma's comeback hopes, the Rossoneri coming back to level the scores and grab their second cup in three days. They now have almost as many trophies as their boss has corruption charges. Remarkable.
Meanwhile, to B or not to B: Serie A's other outstanding question was finally settled on Monday evening. The season had ended with Atalanta and Reggina tied fifth last in the table, needing a relegation playoff. Atalanta keeper Massimo Taibi kept things goalless in the first leg, but Reggina's 2-1 away win on Monday (in a game delayed 24 hours due to a hailstorm) means Reggina stay in Serie A. And thank goodness for that; this club from the very toe of the Italian Boot were the sole southern representatives in the top division, and considerably more fun to watch than Atalanta.
And saving the Reggina brings things to a close. What a season it's been: one that saw Calcio celebrated by some, upbraided by others - the David Beckham's Hair of world football - but one that is in many ways a return to the past; Juventus, Milan and Inter are hogging the top three spots once more, and Milan are back as continental champions.
As pink periodical La Gazzetta dello Sport points out, it's 23 years since Italy's big three stood together on the podium. In the intervening period, everyone from Verona to Fiorentina to Napoli to Sampdoria has had a pop at leading the way, but those days are done for now. We can thank the recent belt-tightening for that: these days only the big three have any money, ergo, only the big three compete.
Look at the others: Fiorentina are in the third division, Napoli and Verona are in the second, Parma are too busy balancing the books to finish anything but sixth. Even the capital has run out of steam - with debts as monumental as everything else in town, Rome's two clubs now watch wheezing from the sidelines. Roma haven't bought anyone in two years, while Lazio have to flog off their best bits just to stay afloat.
By contrast, our friends in the north have been piling up more big names than ever: Rui Costa, Nesta, Inzaghi, Pirlo, Seedorf and Rivaldo arriving at Milan; Buffon, Thuram, Di Vaio, Camoranesi, Salas and Nedved in at Juventus; Crespo, Cannavaro, Toldo, Almeyda, Morfeo and Emre joining Inter. These, of course, the three teams that this season put Italian football back on the European map so dramatically.
One might argue that it's precisely this sudden concentration of talent that's enabled Calcio to compete once more. But that's another story, and with the summer hols now long overdue, let's instead round off by unveiling your columnist's AC Jimbo fantasy side for the season.
Up front, hairy scary Christian Vieri is the rough tough figurehead for our formation. Beside him, hot young Romanian Adrian Mutu - the Parma forward is a ringer for the lad from Busted, and scores plenty besides.
The midfield sees Francesco Totti nestling snugly behind the front two, on and off the pitch (hey, it's my fantasy).
And alongside him, three meaty boys by the name of Pavel Nedved, Edgar Davids and Rino Gattuso. That's right, Gattuso. Grrrr.
Keeping it tight at the rear, say hello to Lillian Thuram and Paolo Maldini, with Gianluca Zambrotta at left back. And Javier Zanetti: Midfielder? Defender? I've got a spot free at right back, so that's where I'll stick him.
In goal, Udinese's Morgan De Sanctis offers the kind of between-the-posts reliability the Royal Mail can only dream of, but I'll stick with Gigi Buffon, who's more of a laugh.
And as young folk today have it: we would own.
So there it is: having placed a large stake upon the heart of this season and hammered it gently home, it's time for yours truly to salute you for the summer. August will see us back, with probably fewer changes than many would hope. Until then, buone vacanze!
no subject
Date: 2003-10-07 06:56 pm (UTC)hairy scary Christian Vieri
hahaha. that has a nice ring to it, and is even more appropriate now than last season.
Francesco Totti nestling snugly behind the front two, on and off the pitch (hey, it's my fantasy).
*coughs* um, and some fantasy it is. *pales*
That's right, Gattuso. Grrrr.
hee hee. that gave me images of gattuso scowling at opponents, saying "GRRRRRRR" and having them scamper off, cowering.
ahhh, ok, i could quote the entire article, so i'll stop now. but that was bloody hilarious. thanks for posting. :D
no subject
Date: 2003-10-07 10:32 pm (UTC)"hairy scary Christian Vieri"
It is rather poetic, makes me think of that children's verse by A.A Milne that begins...
"James James Morrison Morrison Weatherby George Dupree,
Took great care of his mother, although he was only three."